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My entire family woke up today in pleasant humor and well-rested. My husband had taken care of my son’s breakfast, so I was left to my own. I passed up my standard egg & toast with coffee for a cookie covered in blue sugar and half a swig of milk from the carton.

I gathered our mountain of items for school (it was our week for snack, and our weekend for doing laundry), and my gym bag and out the door we went. Snacks were accepted – and it was suggested that I reinforce the first round with some more. Also – we could bring some fruit. This week, my son’s class will only be getting two rounds of raw fruit instead of three per day. My kid doesn’t eat raw fruit and this week he will not have to get “special snack”. But. Noted. More snacks.

I went to the gym without much of a plan. I’ve learned in the last six weeks that whatever I did to my knee roller skating has left something that bounces around like a Plinko ball when I start to run. After 3 or 4 minutes it settles somewhere and is fine. Today, I walked, then ran-ish, quit mid-Plinko, tried the elliptical for about 3 minutes, did Jacob’s ladder for 90 seconds, shrugged and got my bag.

My head was starting to hurt. See also: no coffee.

During my walk and brief trot on the treadmill I started thinking about the difference between playing it safe and pushing boundaries, and about being lazy and self-care. Of the latter, I only recognize it by the way I feel afterward. Of the former – let’s just say that Feb is a new project.

This morning aside, it is time to push a personal boundary or two.

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My family has spent months on long, long, vacation and the wrap-up is beginning.  Here are some of the things I have learned about myself.  I am honestly not upset about any of them and it will be interesting to remember over time that even in pristine circumstances these things are true for me.

1.  I am an erratic exerciser.  With 40 weeks of a HUGE amount of control of my schedule I still did & did not exercise in a nearly random pattern.  I identify as both athletic and as a runner but if I had to submit an application to a governing board I would not have retained either of those qualifications this year.

2.  City proximity is more important than being there.  I LOVE that I am as close to a major city as I am and I LOVE LOVE LOVE this city, that it is filled with everything any engaged human being could possibly want.  I just haven’t been down there much.  Nor will I be from the looks of it.  Dear City, knowing you are there is enough.  To be truthful: I am semi-close to a major city when we aren’t on LLV …. I have never learned to love that city.  Not even close.  Not even a little bit.

3.  I never learned how to invite people to my home comfortably.  Sometimes I can rally for an EVENT, but like just for … the fun of it??? Yeeeeeah, I don’t know how to do that.  Maybe I don’t need to *know* how – but it feels too strange for me to do just for fun.  That is easier to cover when we aren’t on LLV because we are WAY out of town.

4.  I want Dunkin Donuts to make my coffee.  They are better at it and it makes me feel cared for.  I can make my own, and have for most of this year but when the going gets tough / sad / happy / non-normal the tough gets her ass to DD for a large coffee.

5.  I love hospital work.  No matter what the work is.  I think healthcare is fascinating in every angle and I love working in that field.

(wow, you should see the tags that wordpress is blindly throwing my direction right now – my favorite is Doctor of Divinity which must have sprung off of DD …. yeeeeeeeah.  The coffee is good but it ain’t g-d.)

What have you learned about yourself this year?