After my son went to bed tonight I took a few minutes to look back over our day, and over this spring – to get a little perspective.

Developmentally, he’s at 4.75 – the last stand for Baby / Toddler mentalities where there is often one last visit back to being a “little” before he leaves those days forever.

In the last 90 days we’ve all been together and where we expected to be for 40 of them.

It is the last week of school for him, his soccer season just ended, and also, he understands clearly that LLV is ending.

He remembers the sense of our regular home, but he hasn’t been there in six months, so the last time I was there we Skyped his bedroom – he remembered it once he saw it – but he couldn’t bring it to mind independently there for a minute.

He is hearing a lot of “Last time during LLV …” for dinner at this place, for visiting that person, for going to this thing.

His mom has been gone a lot this spring, and she is not quite herself when she is around.

He might not know what the missing noun or verb of a conversation is (or he might for all I know) — but he certainly knows when the story he is hearing is *missing* whatever the point actually is.

So when dinner can’t be reeled in, or when he gets obsessed with the TV show about getting home, or when we use Plants v Zombies to both bond and snap at each other a little bit … I need to remember.

Dave & I have stress about staying on top of things in the next week, about the return into home life, about getting our flow back with my work hours, and much greater drives between everything.  We have our sadnesses and excitements about all of the things that are ending and beginning and seeing what LLV brings to our wider life over time.

We also have two other things –

1.  Control.

2.  An adult understanding of what is happening and what it means.

My son has spent 20% of his life on LLV.  I’ve spent 2.5% of my life on LLV.  

I need to remember that.