I am binging on Adam Savage videos.  I am considering trying to go to a Maker Faire (oh hey, maybe two of them).

I want to make, I want to have the endurance to chase down a project that takes time, I want something (else) with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Maybe I’m just looking for a new beginning.  Maybe I just want to build a shrine.

It would be huge, and fit in my pocket.  It would be covered in pictures and ticket stubs and it would have sounds of stories and laughter.  It would be TARDIS blue but it would smell like mid-winter fog.  There would be water.

My memory is kind of lousy, it certainly doesn’t hold together well over time.  The pictures and ticket stubs are reminders of what I need to rehearse.  The Story of Grandma Catches a Fish.  Cookie Day.  Chicken Day.  Working on the yard.  The Sledding Hill.

If I am 100% present I don’t remember much about the event.  If I stand outside of it to remember it then I have missed something different.  It is why my writing doesn’t have the details that a Writer does.  I don’t take physical or mental notes in the way that a Writer does.

I have journaled more in this year than I have in most, but they are erratic, scattered all over, and incomplete at nearly every level.  Still, they are the shrine.

I am eyeballing the calendar and the end of LLV.  I am not clinging to here – I am just trying to figure out how to bring it home.